i talk the talk .... and some days even walk the walk ..... but deep down in my heart ..... i am still afraid!
and although i have gone through the motions for the past week
i really just want to run and hide!
to lay and sleep in hopes that when i wake up, things will be different.
but they won't be ...
families have lost everything, including each other.
that although is easily replaced and refilled for new chapters - -
doesn't have the comfort and memories, the smell of the old ones.
people, who have been forever redefined, based on 30 seconds [that felt like 10 minutes] .....
if i dwell on the "what if's" and "why's" of life i might find myself sleeping a LOT!
and when i roll over, or open my eyes to peer out from beneath the heavy quilt,
i still have empty answers ...
that mighty rushing wind is going to have to be the promises of God that i have proclaimed for 30+ years.
that still small voice will be the whisper of His reassuring faithfulness despite the outward and/or visible circumstances that clamor of chaos
the pile of rubble, the lost possessions, the replacements and expense, will be opportunities for me to serve and invest in new friends.
i will cling less to my stuff .. and hold tightly to Him
i will pray His Word .. and not my own.
i will boast in Him ... as i search diligently to see His ways
and when i don't understand ... i will STILL TRUST HIM!
to everything there is a season ... and a change in perspective will do me good.
crochet for a while .... knit a bit less ......
do for others ... as He's done for me!
and as i'm reminded every day: Serve others ... feel the joy!
Though you have not seen Him, you love Him;
and even though you do not see Him now,
you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,
for you are receiving the goal of your faith,
the salvation of your souls.
I Peter 1:8-9