Remember this swatch? I had grand plans for this little Auburn scarf . . using a great pattern from my Barbara Walker Treasury of Knitting, Volume 2. However, the more i worked on it this weekend the more it curled on itself . . and despite the fact that i wanted it NOT to curl, IT DID! SO.... i ripped it out! Several times . . . during those 36 hour days . . .
and FINALLY surrendered to my Crochet Hook! i chained 270+ stitches and started this fun little crochet version of the Feather and Fan pattern . . and it is flying now! I am liking the curls and ripples and will probably attach some fun little dangly circles at the end just to finish the cute! Needless to say, i should have had this one completed before i left the school at 1 AM Sunday morning ... but . . .
i Didn'T! :(
and in the midst of my Auburn dilemma i had this floating around for a March Scarf! i LOVE cables .. . . and had this wonderfully soft yarn from Deborah Norville in a rich grape worsted weight ... i'm doubling it and using a size 11 needle .. and am planning on making it an eternity ring scarf . . at least right now, that's the plan. But i clearly have learned this past week that not everything works out like you had intended!
Isn't that kind how we "do" life most days? Plans and lists and more plans, sprinkled in with some dreams and some hopes, and then plans on how to make those dreams come true . . always anticipating what the future holds or how we want it to unfold . . just so long as we can 'control' it or 'contain' it in such a way that makes sense to us. and YET, when you apply that theory to God's love you soon realize that there's not a CHANCE that you can break into the VASTNESS that is His Love! I had big plans and packed accordingly for this weekend .... based on what i thought i knew and how i envisioned it would go! But God knew that i clearly needed to spend more time getting MUCH better acquainted with the yarn itself . . which was achieved through ALL the many times of ripping it out and starting over ... rolling it back into a ball and casting on again .... separating the double strands and trying to do something with single strands ...and ripping THAT out .... it became a very tactile lesson in patience and perseverance .... a tangible means of learning what would really be best suited for the yarn ... for the design ... based on the weight .. the needles ....
and when i realize that i also have big plans for God rather than acquiescing to His Plans for me . . . i find that He, on most days, is probably spending time rewinding me .... casting me onto His needles again .... separating all the planned entanglement i get myself into because i have yet to fully comprehend (and therefore TRUST) that His ways are NOT my ways ... that His plans are not my plans . . yet! I have failed to grasp how desperately He truly LOVES me ... and longs for my very BEST . . . He has to re-do . . not because His plans failed to work ... but because i continue to force my will onto His .. and He is a gracious God and is willing to wait until i seek His face ... call upon His name before He will step in and gently clean up ... rip out ... start over, using His pattern!
I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you
with power through His Spirit in your inner being,
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And i pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
may have power, together with all the saints,
to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - -
that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.